Iowa Nice and the Coronavirus

            I love living in Iowa. I'm not from here, you know. But I call Iowa my home. I am an Iowan. I've lived in some beautiful places. Born and raised in the state of Maine, I've spent time all the way down the eastern seaboard. I moved here from Tampa, Florida - a little too much "city" for me, but oh, the beaches!

            Here is why I call Iowa my home. It's because of Iowa-nice. It's the people. It's the generosity, the care, the brother's keepers we all strive to be. We all look out for one another, without apology. Even when we don't particularly like one-another, or even worse, disagree about politics or God! We still step up. We still care. And we act like it.

            I think that's one of the most sinister aspects of COVID-19 and the idea of "social distancing." It's completely contrary to Iowa-nice.

            Some examples I witnessed just this week:

            A call went out to gather candy for kids since Easter egg hunt activities had been cancelled. In the plea, it was just stated that tables could be set up in front of the store, and they would hand out candy to kids before Sunday services on Easter. Like a voice of doom, I felt compelled to speak up and say that I didn't think that was a great idea. That it's just another gathering of people and how would we keep them isolated and safe? I wanted it to be a good idea. I really did, I even said that if it could be done right I would donate a ton of candy. But the truth is, there is no way to hand out Easter candy without exposing every kid, and their family, and without every kid and family exposing those handing it out.

            I watched with interest the unveiling of an altercation in one of our local stores, involving - you guessed it - toilet paper. A woman and her daughter went into the store to get some supplies. They grabbed a few roles of t.p. To the people around them, they seemed to be taking too much. Tempers flared and words were said. Of course, what I was witnessing wasn't the actual event; it was the aftermath on social media. But it sounds like some inappropriately harsh words were said on both sides of the event. Which is what happens when everyone is on edge. But here's what started it: She was grabbing a few extra rolls to help out her extended family.

            In both situations, the catalyst was someone trying to do something nice. Trying to do the neighborly thing. It was Iowa-nice. The problem is in this current situation, getting an extra roll for your folks, or your neighbor, or your brother's family is the wrong thing to do. We are supposed to be isolating. That doesn't mean isolate from the people you don't have contact with already. It means everyone.

            It's a part of us, that "do the right thing" means reaching out and lifting up our brothers. But right now that's the very worst thing we can do. Grabbing an extra pack because you know your neighbor is out is the wrong thing to do. Handing out candy to cheer kids up at Easter is the wrong thing to do. Dropping in to check up on friends who are down and anxious is the wrong thing to do.

            If we give it a little thought there are ways to make some of these things happen. There are phones after all; everyone has one. There's chat and Skype or FaceTime. There are on-line communities and on-line activities where you can actually socialize and play games with people you know. There are ways to make sure the people you love have the things they need without going and getting them. Groceries can be paid remotely and delivered by people who are equipped to do that safely.

            I spoke to my brother the other night on the phone to see how things were going in Maine. He said it was weird. Normally his kids would be outside playing with the neighbor's kids. But that doesn't happen now. They spend time outdoors in their own yards, while the neighbor kids play in their own yard. And my brother catches up with their parents with conversation yelled across the street. Weird. But it works.

            We all have to re-train our thinking, and remember to be patient with everyone else who are also trying to re-train their thinking.

            Finally, I saw this somewhere and I'm totally stealing it: I take offense to the term "socially isolating." In this time it is imperative that we stay socially connected with people; there is a host of ways to do that. What we are doing is "physically isolating."